I am starting a new series of concept fan art that would revolve around Cyberpunk's universe. Due to its regained popularity after Edgerunner’s release last month, I've been playing it whenever I could, making me obsessed with the game in general. I submitted an entry for the Photo Mode Challenge - Wardrobe Edition (wish me luck) and hope to be one of the chosen few to be selected. The fangirl in me wants the prizes so badly.

Anyway, my artwork is inspired by Militech, a megacorporation that specializes in weapons manufacturing and private military contracting. Whenever I am cruising with a motorcycle in-game around the eastern Badlands, I would see a lot of Militech soldiers acting like a patrol.

 

© CD Projekt RED

Let’s talk about the process. I came across a good reference model from DeviantArt and did most of the things myself. I recreated the Militech logo to add to the soldier’s military uniform and drew the facial cyberware. For my background, I took a VP in-game and then transformed it into vexel to match the vector style I did for the model. Added a couple of textures, and light hatching for the shadows. Lastly, fixed some minor color adjustments through post-processing.

Feeling the Sunshine

 

"Don't let the shadows of yesterday spoil the sunshine of tomorrow. Live for today." — Nandina Morris

 

The past week has been hard for me because I lost a friend and made me think about things from a different perspective. That person was more than a pal since we treated each other like family yet when I decided not to tolerate more of her bad decisions, it was easier for her to cut me off than to talk things through.

 

 

I want to go back to memory lane when we first met as a way of unloading heavy feelings and letting go. I will focus on the highlights since too many to mention for summarization. Also to protect her identity, let’s call her Maria. We encountered each other in February 2021 due to mutual friends. Surprisingly, we clicked right off the bat and felt like we’d known each other for a long time. We have the same hobby so we spent a lot of time together with our friends. There was a minor disagreement we had during the early days but we’ve managed to talk like adults and reconciled. I liked that experience because real friends are honest with one another even if it hurts.

Corpo Chic

 

 

"Forget about regret, just focus. Focus on today, not on the past. Focus on what you can do, not what you didn't do." — Catherine Pulsifer

 

I haven’t made nor posted any artwork for more than a month and it greatly bothered me. I was occupied with family obligations, had to organize events for our Dota 2 server, and was on multiple vacations. Not bad because I managed to take a breather and unwind yet something feels incomplete.

 

Honestly, there are some setbacks I faced and I’ve been stressed out even before August arrived due to plans I didn’t manage to execute. I guess July wasn’t a productive month for me in terms of self-growth.

Basically, this vector art is a mixture of my current wants, going back to corporate and still doing my artistry at the same time. I am so pressured and it’s getting tough for me to find the strength to be positive. I just keep telling myself to do what I can and see what’s next.

 

{DISCLAIMER: I don't own the gif}

Daydreamer

 “A vision without action is called a daydream; but then again, action without a vision is called a nightmare.” — Jim Sorensen 

 

Before the year 2022 started, I really wanted some changes in my life and set up some groundwork during the previous year. I used to think that I won’t able to go back to pursue my passion and constantly daydream about outcomes if I made different choices in the past.

 

 

I think I have mentioned before in one of my posts that one of my wake-up calls is the death of an important figure in my life. He is Sir Jimmy Oblena, a professor we all cherish. He is a visual artist and photographer among others. Upon learning his passing, it made me look back on the past and recall his advice. I had a realization and asked myself "what am I doing?".

Dead Stare

"My single pair of eyes contain the universe they see; their mirrored multiplicity is packed into a hollow body where I reflect the many, in my one." — Stephen Spender

 

I genuinely believe that each of us has our own way of perceiving things and it’s up to us whether we want to see the world in its beauty or drown in its negativity. Light and darkness always coexist and if the other one is gone, the balance would cease to exist and will cause discord. Sounds so cheesy or straight out of a video game but it’s true.

 

My reference for this vector art perfectly captured the emotion I had to put up so that I can remain neutral and not burn some bridges. I have been non-partisan since my university days and I refrain to talk about politics yet given the nature of my topic regarding the artwork that I have made, I guess I am free to speak my two cents.

Live Life in Full Bloom

 

I’ve been wanting to create a vector with a tattooed woman reference for a while now. Finally found the first one and it’s cool because it resembles my V in Cyberpunk 2077 which I posted before this artwork. You can check it out here.

 

 

I recall wanting a tattoo so badly during my sophomore year as a university student. It was 127.0.0.1 on my left wrist which means localhost or server. Basically like home. I didn't proceed with it because I know I'll regret it later on given I easily get tired of the same thing. I tried so hard to be edgy or cool during that era and even pierced my left ear. Now that I am reminiscing as I write, I can’t help but smile.

Glamorous

 

“Glam culture is ultimately rooted in obsession, and those of us who are truly devoted and loyal to the lifestyle of glamour are masters of its history. Or, to put it more elegantly, we are librarians.” ― Lady Gaga

 

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew that I love things that are pretty and I’m obsessed with beauty as an art form. It was tough to live in a society wherein you have to keep yourself looking humble, not wear unusual clothes or too revealing outfits because people will give you a weird stare. I can’t also wear specific clothing because of my conservative parents and I was forced to go to church.

 

 

I recall one incident when I was in 5th or 6th grade when my mom purchased me some pretty dresses with bold colors. I styled my outfit and wore it to church. Guess what? Our pastor that time ridiculed my outfit and deemed it ugly. I was mad because I gave my heart styling myself and some girls even complimented me.

Looking back now, I think he has no fashion sense and I visited that same church with my brothers pre-pandemic wearing an outfit I liked. Surprisingly, I got a compliment from him. I was civil but deep inside me I will never forget how he crushed my fragile heart as a kid.

 

My advice for adults out there, you should watch your words especially if you’re talking to kids because your insults would scar them for life. I didn’t let those folks who didn’t appreciate my capabilities slow me down and with the path I am currently taking, I will become the woman I would look up to.

 

Now playing: 

First Class - Jack Harlow

{DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the gifs}

Life is Sweeter with Milkshakes

 

 "I love how summer just wraps its arms around you like a warm blanket." — Kellie Elmore

 

I can’t stand the humidity for the past few days and I just want to wear my swimsuit, go to the beach and drink some milkshake. The temperature is so high that my PC is also in danger of experiencing overheating. As much as I want to get out and have a tan, the wedding is next week so I don’t have the luxury to ruin my complexion.

Anyway, I am feeling better and more productive too despite the heat and I can now see some results after letting go of the past. I can’t even imagine what it would be like last week since I was super down but doing baby steps truly help me on my progress. Also, I have decided to leave the server I started with friends temporarily to avoid seeing my ex. So based on what’s happening right now, I think I have made the right decision.

 

 

 Now playing: 

Milkshake - Kelis

{DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the gifs}

I'm fine.

 

I’m fine.

The most told lie in the English language. Used when someone is, in fact, not fine, but drowning in their sadness. They say ‘I’m fine because they don’t want to worry anyone about their problems, and it’s easier than explaining what’s wrong. (from Urban Dictionary)

 

For the past 2 months after the breakup, I just realized lately that I have been pretending that I am over my ex or the relationship. I was forced to put up a happy face, and show that my life is better. I thought I cried everything for the first days when he left me but I was too prideful and didn’t want to accept defeat. Honestly, I even made myself believe that I am really alright and I am already moving on.

On my birthday last April 12th, he left a birthday greeting on our server but didn’t send it directly. At that time I was feeling butterflies in my stomach and was secretly hoping that he still loves me or wants me back. When I look at it now, if he wants direct contact he would message me directly but didn’t so there won’t be any follow-up conversations. He never reached out to me. He liked a few Instagram posts but stopped doing so the 3rd week of our breakup yet regularly views my stories. I couldn’t openly post some stuff because I know he would see everything. I want to post something related to heartache yet looking pathetic in his eyes was the last thing I want.

 

 

Squeeze The Day

 

Summer is in the air so I created this vector to feel the vibes. Also, my birthday just passed a few days ago and I celebrated it with the family so I wasn't able to post this last week. I'm pretty sure most of you are ready to show of your beach body and yours truly isn't hahaha! I am preparing for the wedding so I am avoiding some tan. Most likely we'll go to the beach after all the events and can't wait for that day to come.

"Friends, sun, sand, and sea, that sounds like a summer to me." ― Unknown

 

 

Now playing: 

Closer - Saweetie ft. H.E.R.

{DISCLAIMER: I don't own the gif}

Queen of Broken Hearts

 

My current state of mind represents this artwork that I've made. When I saw this reference, it clearly depicts what I am feeling inside. The black and white outfit kinda resembles a funeral attire and for me it's like saying goodbye to all the negativity I endured during my past relationship. The sunflower bouquet gives off a sunny disposition in the future which I am looking forward to.

"The future rewards those who press on. I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself. I don’t have time to complain. I’m going to press on." ― Barack Obama

 

 

Now playing: 

queen of broken hearts - blackbear

{DISCLAIMER: I don't own the gif}

The Bridesmaid

 

 

I am so excited for my brother's wedding this incoming May and I will be one of the bridesmaids. I am a romantic by heart and I want to finally meet the other half that would accept and love me even my dirty laundry. I am so excited for that day to come and for the time being, I am gonna focus on my growth and be the best version of myself.

“‎There is nothing sweeter than finding the right person to love and cherish and to share your hopes and dreams with.” ― Mary Lydon Simonsen

 

I can finally say now that I moved on from my previous relationship and I don't think about him anymore for the past week. I can confidently say that I have no desire to get back together nor fix things between us even he comes back with a change of heart. I am in a happy place now, at peace with myself and excited about what's next.

 

 Now playing: 

IDGAF - BoyWithUke ft. blackbear

{DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the gifs}

Laid-back Gal

 

“The eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden; and like a mirror, they also reflect the person looking into them.” ― Paulo Coelho

 

I initially wanted to create a photomanipulation for this week's artwork yet I came across this portrait of a woman that I used for reference. Her gaze made me feel a lot of empowerment for myself and hopefully one day, I'll be as confident and independent as her.

 

 

Right now I am still not used to doing some things on my own and I am having post-breakup withdrawal. I can't clearly explain the feeling but you know when you're used to a certain routine and that person is part of your schedule? Now that he's gone, I have to do a lot of adjustments.

 

Going back, I really enjoyed creating vectors recently and I might stick with this current style that I've used in my recent works. As for my theme, I wanted to focus on womanhood given I am into self-love since the breakup.

{DISCLAIMER: I don't own the gif}

Boss B*tch

 

 

This is my first artwork for the month of March and it reflects my current state of mind. The heartache I felt a week ago made me realize a lot of stuff.

I thought I would have to narrate some of the things that happened in order for me to move forward but a few days back, I woke up and just had an awakening. 

 

 

I was in an on-off relationship that lasted for almost a year. The pain for my ex and me was too much than the love we have given to each other. To be honest, the recent breakup just felt final. There are still moments when I can't control my sadness and tears would end up falling in my eyes. Wherever I look, all these little things remind me of him that make my mind flooded with bittersweet memories. You can't unlove someone, you just learn how to live without them in your life.

 

 

 

I regularly do a self-check and whenever I miss him, I would just remind myself why the relationship failed. Weighing the pros and cons helps me as well to get back on track. Above all, I don't think much about who's at fault because it just didn't work out. Simple as that.

 

thank u, next

How ironic that my last artwork was about fighting for love no matter the distance between you two and to keep choosing each other. Now I made one about self-love.

“I’m going to smile and make you think I'm happy, I'm going to laugh, so you don't see me cry, I'm going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me – I'm going to smile.” — Lone Star

 

 

 

To be honest, I have nothing to write. The past weekend was terrible and it led to my relationship falling apart totally last night. I couldn't function for days and still am. I needed an outlet to at least express myself or be positive so I made vector art.

I have no hate in my heart and what I feel the most is unbearable sadness for letting the one I truly want to be with, end everything between us. I believe if you really love someone, you have to let them go even how much it hurts. I guess some books have to end and it's the same for our chapter.

 

Long Distance Love

 

I have decided to create this Valentine's Day-themed artwork Long Distance Love, and it is about two lovers who are so close, yet so far from each other's embrace.

"Sometimes I just sit in front of the computer dreaming. I have food in front of me but no appetite to eat it. All because my heart misses you and my mind is dreaming about you." ― Sandra Toms

 

 

A long-distance relationship is a common setup among young people, adults, and married couples. Thanks to the technology we have today, we can still stay in touch with people we love through online means.

 

 

Salaryman

Salaryman represents me as a corporate slave. The rain projects all the things that pull me down but I still keep on walking despite a heavy downpour. The neon lights symbolizes the creativity that I thought was long forgotten yet they shine so brightly.

This is my first published digital art after my long hiatus and I am so excited to announce that I will regularly post stuff again. Before I talk about my upcoming plans, let me share the inspiration behind this photomanipulation that I have made.

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” ― Dale Carnegie

 

If you are familiar with Japanese culture, probably you’ve heard the salaryman word before. I relate on a personal level since even after work hours, I had to do overtime and also make sure to accompany our boss or hang out with colleagues. I have learned a lot and gained experience as a salary earner despite the harsh reality of it.

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” ― Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

 

WHAT IS NEXT IN STORE?

 

Regarding my future projects, expect that I’ll be sharing a lot of digital arts. I actually started making vector art again and I will showcase them in time. I might experiment with other styles and also harness my skills. Sad to say this but I won't resume those projects from 7 years ago since my style evolved as I grow up. The good thing is, I will upload finished works I have done during my hiatus online.

To add, I intend to be active in social media to market myself and at least be quite known to gain clients. I will share some of my other hobbies too like my action figures, comics collection, journaling, lifestyle among others. Above all, I will expand my portfolio as a graphic designer.

I expect great things this year and I believe that I can do it this time around. A little progress is still progress and one step closer to success.

{DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the gifs}

The Rake

My 3rd artwork from the Creepypasta inspired series The Rake. If you're not familiar with The Rake I'll give you some brief intro.

The Rake is the name given to an unknown creature that appears as a large hairless dog or a naked man with large claws.

 

The Rake prefer killing its victims when they're not aware of its presence especially when they are fast asleep.

Little Miss Scare

 

This manip was named after Type O Negative's single Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare - All). I want to create something unusual so I decided to go for artistic nude model. This image is quite disturbing and anyone can imagine a story behind this. I don't want to label her as a typical human and I'm not sure what kind of being is she like. So I'll leave the rest to you.

She can be one of these zombies

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The Slender Man Is Coming For You

 

Always watching...

No eyes...

He is The Slender Man.

 

Slender Man originated as an internet meme created by Something Awful forums user Victor Surge in 2009. He is depicted as a faceless thin tall man with tentacles wearing a black suit. He is known for abducting people especially children.