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"Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end." — Jim Rohn
ABSENCE AND STORYTIME
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I have been more active in honing and learning skills as a designer for the past two years, and funny enough, I have disliked using Illustrator since my university days because I wanted to do more creative stuff through Photoshop. Yet, Ma’am Flora (one of our instructors) kept giving us activities without using the latter. I guess I have to thank her for drilling into our heads using Illustrator because it’s the tool I use the most and, surprisingly, my favorite.
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Elayne, from a decade ago, would be surprised that I ended up on a path I never considered in the first place. I wanted to be a surreal photographer like Erik Johansson or work as a concept artist for a game studio. To be honest, I still want to do both in the future once I have the time and resources, so who’s to say I can’t, right?
I wouldn’t say luck led me to my current path because I wanted and worked for it. I probably talked about this briefly in my previous posts. When I had to drop out of university and start working when our dad was diagnosed with cancer, I already decided that I wouldn’t do any more creative stuff. I’ve been through a lot of traumatic things, and doing something related to art triggers a lot of it way back. I worked in corporate and earned more than enough, so I told myself to climb the ladder, make more, and live comfortably.
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When I was still a corporate slave, there were unexplainable things from before that I have no idea why they happened. When I am working, “What am I doing here?” or “Why am I wasting my talents on this type of work?” suddenly crosses my mind. I kept fooling myself that I enjoyed the work I hated but only stayed because of money.
Things took a turn when I met my recent ex and the death of Sir Jimmy, making me consider many things. I’ve talked about it before so I won’t repeat myself, but I appreciate my ex's support in resuming my passion. No one believed in me, not even myself, but he did. He gave me confidence, and eventually, I started doing art again. Even though our relationship didn’t work out, God’s purpose for me to meet him is to take a deep dive into myself that I shut off for years. During the holidays, I thanked him, and he responded. It felt nice that there was no bad blood between us, but I prefer not to engage even as friends for now, so I didn’t follow. I’m sure he feels the same way, and we probably could after more time passes.
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Going back to the part wherein I worked for where I am now, I had this realization from the last quarter of 2022, and it ignited a spark in me, more like an erupting volcano. I’ve been unenthusiastically working on my portfolio for over a year and arguing with my mom, resulting in me walking out while eating in Jollibee (no worries, since I repaired my relationship with her and we’re doing fantastic, tho arguments are unavoidable). I cried myself to sleep that night and decided to isolate myself ‘til I got a new client for a project.
For the next 5 - to 6 weeks, I worked day and night non-stop, didn’t talk to anyone in person, and focused on the grind. If I recall, I would only sleep for 3 hours, and 5 hours was a luxury. Sometimes, tears would fall into my eyes while learning new stuff, and I kept pushing myself. I rebranded my portfolio, and December 5 came when I thought I was ready to submit proposals. Within the day, I got a response and got the job the same week.
Fast forward to the present day, hard work pays off. You have to both want and work hard for it. If I could go back in time and probably change something, it would be believing in God first and asking for His wisdom and guidance. But remember, you can pray but still have to do the work yourself.
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Currently, I work full-time as the Creative Director of our Publishing Business. Technically, I own it in papers as the sole proprietor, but I co-founded it with my mom, so both credits are ours — mother and daughter tandem. I do all the creative aspects, from graphics, layout, illustration, photography and videography (plus the editing), website management, advertising and marketing, and social media - you name it all, I do it like a one-person team. We create our products from scratch, so I am also involved in the production alongside my mom and uncle. Now you know why I have no time for myself. I would only take a breather once I can afford to hire someone to do some of my job.
I escaped corporate slavery to end a 9 - 5 kind of job, yet some would say owning a business is more challenging since it demands all of your being, even in your sleep hours. It is mentally, emotionally, and physically draining, but if it’s the will of the Lord for me to have this career and flourish with it, then there’s nothing to worry about. I also want to serve Him and have a ministry by creating illustrated Christian books in the future for kids and adults alike to spread His word and the gospel.THE RISE OF AI IN ART AND DESIGN
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Whenever I see articles on the internet discussing the types of jobs, Artificial Intelligence takes over; the number one spot is always artists and designers. Anyone can type a prompt through DALL-E, Midjourney, etc., and then voila! You have your logo or artwork in a matter of seconds.
I can’t blame most creatives for being alarmed because these tools have allowed anyone to create their stuff, and we all know most people like free. As a consumer, if I can do something, why bother paying someone to do it right? The answer is simple. If you want an accurate depiction of a commissioned artwork based on your liking or complete assets for your graphic needs, hire a professional!
The present state of AI won’t allow it to give you the proper ratio for your logo, brand consistency, or edit your videos like a professional. There’s a reason why people study and gain work experience to provide their skillsets for the creative industry. I have tried it myself, and it isn’t harmful to use. It even helps my artist’s block sometimes or gives me ideas.
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Adobe even integrated it into their applications, and I’ll be honest about something. It sucks that anyone can easily do one of my mediums, namely, manipulation art. You still have to be knowledgeable, but at those times, you have to find the perfect assets and placements, even how to blend and color. Now? It’s like magic; anyone can claim, “Oh, I did this and that.” The same goes for vector and vexel art. If you can discern and have a trained eye, you know when it’s not AI art, but what about the 99% of the world’s population? Yikes!
Before, traditional artists disdained tools like Photoshop, but at least you’re still doing the same work (if not more complicated) in digital form. These days, just be creative and learn the perfect prompts to produce a so-called art.
The risk of not getting a client or project is low. It is a wake-up call to some to be active with their work and always upskill, especially for those who only use Canva and call themselves professionals. No offense, but it is what it is. It is a convenient online application for beginners with no design background, but I don’t think sending your client design stuff (unless they prefer it through that, like my ex-client) from it and asking for thousands is tomfoolery. There’s a difference between using a commercial asset on your project and doing the rest, from using only pre-made stuff on that app, just like AI stuff, a total joke.
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So, for me, anything visual produced by AI lacks emotion, and it feels cold. These generated images and videos are on the web, especially social media. If those people keep doing AI content, viewers will start to get sick of it and crave something more natural or real. We will see what happens in the coming years. Traditional art would double in value, as would professionally made works.
My busy schedule unintentionally saved me from not creating any manipulation or vector art to compete with AI-produced works last year. I think it’s about time for me to move on from the said mediums.
I am not bothered yet by the rise of AI as of the moment, but if the time comes, it would be able to do all the stuff professionals do digitally, then I’ll be damned. Oh well, we humans can still adapt.
THE FUTURE
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I still want to resume and entirely focus on my artistry once things are going well and smoothly regarding the Publishing Business. I don’t want to do things half-heartedly on a task before adding another one. Of course, I am happy with what I currently do, and designing always overlaps with art or vice versa, so I am not missing out entirely. It’s always going to be a mix of the two.
The best way to explain what I feel is my top 2 favorite animes: Gintama (the art) and Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure series (the design). Let’s say I am re-watching the latter and only on its first season, episode 1. I won’t be able to re-watch Gintama unless I finish JJBA first. Like my present status, I can’t do much art unless I am stable with my design career as an entrepreneur.
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I will resume my passion projects when I can, but I know my availability. I can do quick artwork, but nothing complicated that would require days to complete. I incorporate my art in my designs, which is more than enough. I have sacrificed spending time with loved ones and friends for the past couple of years; above all, I want to grow spiritually.
You have no idea how equally ecstatic and sad I was winning the Red Holidays 2023 because it might be a sign to work on my portfolio to jump into the industry. I dream of working for a big game studio like CD Projekt Red and seeing my name on the ending credits of a video game. It is more like a desire or want for myself.
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But God has other plans for me, and we’ve already started the business. I also don’t see how to work on the ministry I mentioned earlier if I am on a different type of work. The path of righteousness is thorny; sometimes, you must sacrifice your desires to do His will, not yours.
I am not closing doors, but I pray to God for guidance. We don’t know what awaits, so I leave the possibilities like a blank canvas.
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